Motherhood

How I drink a cup of coffee

March 5, 2015
morning_coffee_hires

 

  1. 5:30am: infant son wakes me up. I drag myself out of bed
  2. 5:35: I change my son’s diaper and throw on a sweater
  3. 5:37: I turn on the Keurig and let the water preheat while I take our two dogs outside for their morning business.
  4. 5:47: Stupid dogs took their sweet time and now the Keurig has powered off again. I re-hit the power button. While I wait, I feed the dogs.
  5. 5:48: The water in the chamber is already heated, so it doesn’t take as long to say “READY”. I throw in a single-serve brewing cup, press down, and hit start.
  6. 5:48 and 10 seconds: As I walk away to get my son his breakfast, I hear an odd streaming sound as it hits metal. SHOOT! In my sleep deprived stupor I have stupidly forgotten to put a cup under the brewer. Coffee is everywhere. There is no emergency off button! Why is there no emergency off button!?!?
  7. 5:48 and 20 seconds: I manage to run, grab a mug, and throw it under the brewer to keep coffee from continuously spewing everywhere. I’ll clean up the mess later.
  8. 5:49: Infant son enjoys my panicked distraction to happily munch on the dog food.
  9. 5:50: Baby is now screaming bloody murder. Terrible mother that I am, I pulled the dog food out of his mouth, and I wouldn’t let him eat it.
  10. 5:51: Baby’s screams have woken my four year old daughter, who has now joined us in the kitchen asking what is for breakfast.
  11. 6:00: Children are both blessedly silent as they eat breakfast. I use this opportunity to add almond milk to my now almost room temperature coffee.
  12. 6:02: I have taken two sips of coffee and the baby is trying to pull a Houdini escape act out of his high chair. He inhaled the banana I cut up for him, and now he wants to get down. He is completely covered in mushed banana.
  13. 6:30: baby is now bathed, in fresh clothes, and a fresh diaper.
  14. 6:31: I take a swig of now ice cold coffee. Blech. I throw it in the microwave for thirty seconds.
  15. 6:32: Four year old is done eating and desperately begging me to allow her to wear the pretty sparkle dress that gets glitter EVERYWHERE. I say no. She says yes. I say no again. At this point I am vaguely aware of the stench emanating from my son’s diaper. He pooped.
  16. 6:40-45: Son is changed. Again. Daughter is still pestering to wear the sparkle dress. I concede to the sparkle dress as long as she puts on leggings and a sweater. She doesn’t want to wear leggings and a sweater. I tell her that it is freezing outside and we have errands to run today. She says she will be fine. I make her stand outside in just her sparkle dress to prove my point. After 5 seconds on the back porch she shivers and unhappily trudges to her room to put on leggings and a sweater. One point to team mommy.
  17. 6:45: I hear the microwave beep. Oh yeah. Coffee! Boo… room temperature coffee. I hit “add 30 seconds” and walk away again.
  18. 8:00: After unloading and loading the dishwasher, starting the laundry, and making the beds, the rumbling of my stomach reminds me that I have yet to eat breakfast or finish my coffee.
  19. 8:15: I manage to eat an apple and finish half of my coffee which had to be reheated for the third time. I realize that I am pushing it really close to baby nap number one of the day, and I need to get the kids out the door NOW if I have any hope of getting things accomplished today.
  20. 9:45: We get home from grocery shopping, the post office, and dropping off overdue books at the library. Baby is screaming.
  21. 10:00 Baby is sleeping. I now have the bags of groceries to put away. Daughter is pleading for a snack. I see my half-finished cup of coffee sitting on the counter, throw it in the microwave, and hit “add 30 seconds.”
  22. 11:45: Daughter and I have been working on home school work and now baby is awake.
  23. 12:00: Both baby and daughter want lunch. I open the microwave to heat up chicken and stars soup for my daughter, and I see my ice cold cup of ridiculously reheated coffee. It looks congealed. I mentally question if it would be too gross to actually consider drinking it. I realize that this ridiculous cup of coffee cost about $1.00 because organic K-cups are so darned expensive. I swig back the rest of the ice cold coffee…meh, it’s not so bad. I continue on making lunch.

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Someday I’ll get to enjoy sitting down to coffee and breakfast uninterrupted. I will be able to take my time getting out the door because there are no more babies that need to stick to a nap schedule. Someday I will leave the house looking put together, not sleep deprived and disheveled. Someday my children will be grown and no longer need me like they do now, and I will desperately miss the days where I was too busy giving them my love to drink a hot cup of coffee. For now, though, I am in the throes of motherhood, there are little souls dependent on me for everything, and I am going to cherish each and every cold, congealed, overpriced cup of coffee as the gift that it is.

 Do you get to drink your coffee in one sitting?

Is there anything that you look forward to as your kids get older?

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6 Comments

  • Reply Kim M. March 5, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    Nope, coffee is cold by the time I get to it. No baby, but my toddler is an early riser, so he’s pretty good after his diaper and breakfast. But by the time he is settled I’m making juice for my husband and myself. Then my 5 year old daughter gets up and is ready for breakfast. So I have learned that mornings are just that way in this season.

    • Reply ModerateMuse March 5, 2015 at 7:57 pm

      Someday we’ll both get to have that hot cup of coffee and wonder where on earth the time went that our kids no longer need us!

  • Reply Sharon Bay March 6, 2015 at 2:14 am

    There was a line from a Christmas Story that goes something like “My mother hasn’t a hot meal for herself in 15 years”.

    • Reply ModerateMuse March 6, 2015 at 2:36 am

      I truly believe that you can’t possibly appreciate your mother until you are one yourself! Whenever I get to visit with my parents, I always offer them a cup of coffee. I figure it’s literally the least I can do! A little bit of evening the score.

  • Reply shoeaholicnomore March 9, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    This post cracked me up! Thanks for sharing

  • Reply Parent Time Out: How to Escape the Kids « June 22, 2015 at 7:20 am

    […] other adults meant that I actually got a break from mommy duties! I had at least 3 cups of coffee without once having to re-heat my cup! I even got to take a shower without little ones banging on the door. It was […]

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